I Want to Be a Billionaire SO FREAKIN' BAD!!

So, I've been telling people how this school year has been the easiest of my life. With only Bryce at home (Kayla in Utah, Brianna in L.A. at USC, and Kiana in Pennsylvania) my stress level has been at an all-time low. I'm working a lot, but when I come home Bryce is doing his homework. He doesn't require a lot--just feed him a simple meal and he's happy. He basically is a homebody like me, so he's content to hang out at home. Sometimes he will have plans for the weekend, but weeknights it's just home, homework, Mutual on Wednesdays, and watching our favorite shows. Of course, there have been some bumps and annoyances like having to go to court once a month to try and come to some kind of conclusion with my ex about child support. That has been no picnic, definitely frustrating, but manageable.
Well, I should have kept my mouth shut. The stress is returning, with a vengeance! Brianna is at the end of her program at USC. She graduates in 2 months. She has run out of money! She needs to apply to take her board exams, she needs to be able to pay her electric bill, she needs to be able to pay rent for the next 3-4 months. All of this will take an incredible amount of money. When your kid calls crying saying she's drowning it's heart-breaking. I wish I could just say, "Here ya go!" but I'm not Oprah or the Queen of England. I humbly asked my parents for money last week which they graciously loaned to us, but now new expenses have come up so we're basically back to square one! I'm mad and I'm frustrated! I cried myself to sleep last night wondering how we were going to solve this dilemma. I try to do everything right: I work full-time plus I have 2 other small jobs that bring in a little extra money, I pay my tithing, I'm a good person, but I can't catch a break. I haven't received child support in over 6 years, hence the reason for the monthly court visits. Kiana didn't get to go to college this year because there was no money with which to send her, so that's why she went to live with my brother in Pennsylvania to work and save. Bryce and I eat beans & hot dogs and quesedillas and $5 pizzas from Lil' Ceasars regularly. We don't go out, we don't do anything. I just work and try to pay off my debts. And then I hear on the radio this morning that someone just donated $200 million to USC! That's EXTRA money that they just had laying around and didn't know what to do with it. Really? How would that be?! And then there are people like Charlie Sheen who have sooo much money and they blow it on drugs and prostitutes. It's just not fair!
Most of the time I don't complain because I realize how truly blessed we are. We have a warm, comfortable home--nothing fancy, but it meets our needs. We have food, I have a good job, we are healthy, and most importantly we have the gospel! But sometimes, like now, I crack and get mad and feel sorry for myself. I wonder why some people are blessed with so much money. Do they work harder than me or my kids? I doubt it. If we had money I could help my kids with their education and treat them to a fun adventure once in a while. I would be a philanthropist for sure! That gives me incredible joy to be able to help others. I don't know. I guess that just wasn't the hand I was dealt for this life. I got other good cards instead I suppose.
I always tell my kids, "Don't worry, it will all work out. It always does." And it does. But I just don't see how right now. I'll just keep praying and looking for a solution--there's got to be one out there.
Pity party done...for now anyway.

You Know It's Going to be a Great Day....

Now that the sun is up a little earlier in the morning, I've been enjoying early daylight when I drop Bryce off at seminary and then make my way to work. As I was entering the freeway, I noticed how beautiful everything looked--the hills are green, the morning sky is so lovely with various colors and clouds gathering. I always say a little prayer of thanks when I notice the extraordinary beauty of the earth. It is such a gift that our Heavenly Father has given us! Then all of a sudden, off to the right of the freeway, I saw this...

BAM!!

So gorgeous! The right side of a rainbow was just visible to my view. I continued driving and looking and slowly but surely the entire rainbow started to emerge until it stretched all the way across the freeway. It was stunning! I took it as a personal message to me from my Heavenly Father that He loves me, that today was going to be a great day, and that everything else was going to be okay. And then I saw this...

SHA-ZAM!!

A double rainbow!

It was ever so slight and only could be seen on the left side, but there it was. So awesome!! I drove into work feeling so great and uplifted. It doesn't take much to make me happy, and these little things just remind me that the Lord is there, watching over us all!

Happy Wednesday!!

I'm a happy girl!

So, my birthday was 2 days ago. I always kind of dread my birthdays because I HATE that I'm getting old. It turned out to be a really awesome day, though. You know it's got to be a good day when you get a text from your big brother at 4:40 a.m. wishing you a happy birthday. My best girl friends at work surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and the Wii game Just Dance 2. I was so stoked! Bryce had told me that he had a surprise for me when I got home, so I was anxious to see what he had planned. When I came in the front door, he was doing the dishes! He had also cleaned the living room, his bedroom, and had made his bed. He also had gotten me flowers on his way home from school. So sweet! We had a joint activity for Mutual that night and all the youth, about 50 kids plus about 12 adults, sang happy birthday to me. I felt pretty special. Seriously the best part though, in addition to all that Bryce did for me, was the sweet phone calls from my girls, and each of the girls dedicated a blog post to me where they said how much they loved and admired me and how grateful they were that I was their mom. I seriously felt that if I were to die right then I would feel so satisfied with my life and all that I've accomplished. There is nothing greater than the love of your children and them making me look good by living amazing, virtuous lives. I am so grateful for my life and all that the Lord has blessed me with. I am seriously the richest woman on the planet!

Sunrise, Sunset

My baby, my only boy, turned 16 yesterday. Where has the time gone? He makes me proud every day. I love him with all my heart!

Like totally radical!!

My good friend from church hosted a 80's themed party this past Saturday along with her husband in honor of his 50th birthday. We had a great time and it was awesome that pretty much everyone went all out and dressed up.

The birthday boy with his wife Mary, his friend "Boy George" and "George's" wife.

friends from church

prom dates

the girls

Boy George and I

Mind you, I NEVER actually dressed like this in the 80's, but it sure was fun reliving this crazy era for just one night!

Jinxed

I think I jinxed us. I last blogged that I hoped no one in my home would get sick....Bryce is sick! Poor kid. We had one of his friends with us this weekend while his parents were out of town. He had a bad cough. I think he must have shared his germs with Bryce. Bryce doesn't have a cough, yet--knock on wood, but he does have a bad cold. I had to work late last night, so I texted Bryce if he needed anything that I could get for him on my way home. He texted back, "death bed." So sad! I came home, made him some mangosteen green tea and gave him Nyquil. He seemed to sleep better. He managed to make it to school today. Last year he was sick for his birthday. This year looks like a repeat of last year. Sad day!

Please pass the Vitamin C

Everyone around me is sick. People are dropping like flies. I wish they would just stay home instead of coming to work at the risk of infecting the rest of us. Come on, people! Nothing is so important that it can't wait until you are well again. I'd better not get sick!!

And I hope Bryce stays healthy as well. I want our home to be a germ-free zone. Is that too much to ask?